Knoxville

There is something I need to tell ya’ll. Shall we talk?

It is October 25, 2009. Six days before Halloween. Teens, pre-teens, and tweeners all over the country have their minds set on one thing. One thing that only does two things. 1. Makes you uncomfortable. 2. Cost too much money, especially if a girl is with you. Know what I am talking about yet? Well, I’ll tell ya. Haunted Houses are what I have on my mind this morning.

Somehow I made it all the way to the age of 19 before I ever visited a Haunted House. Disclaimer: it was some sort of date party thing and my ticket was free or else I never would have gone. I remember walking through the halls with the blinking lights and the skeletons and I think more so than scared, I was angry. I was at angry because such a place as this exist. I was angry because people were making money off of this. I was angry because people actually enjoyed scaring other people slash enjoyed being scared.

I hate the ads for haunted houses. I hate hearing them on my radio the most. They say things that are very disturbing and pass it as ok. They say things about cops dying, warewolves eating people, people losing limbs, attacked by spiders, etc. Sign me up!! No. Stupid.

Here is what I propose. I house that is happy. However, there are no clowns or mirrors. Just people laughing and telling jokes. There would be fun riddles to figure out on the walls. There would be a place to play pick up basketball or tennis on the Wii. All of your old friends would probably be there. Boys would meet girls and fall in love in the happy house. Life would just be happy in the happy house. How does that sound to all of you? The happy house that is?

Hellllloooo from Cookeville

I have a new home. It is a little town nestled in the beautiful rolling hills of Tennessee. Some of you may have even drove through it once or twice on your way to Knoxville. This little town that rest at exit 286 is called Cookeville. It is now my home and has been for about seven or so weeks. I live in a teeny tiny dorm room with a guy who I had never met before in my life. I call him Fizer. It is his last name.

I have hats on the floor and clothes hanging from the bunked beds. Snacks are stuffed in all the nooks and crannies. I thought I would never live in a dorm, probably just a fantasy created while living in my fantasy land condo all last year.

What do I miss most about Nashville? The skyline at sunset.

Do I play baseball here? The answer is no… sigh… I had the opportunity to but decided to pursue other things such as watching tv, doing bicep curls til I feel tears rolling down my face, and on the occasion I’ll study. I wish I could play for a college team where all I did was work out on my own and show up on the days I pitch. But I believe that only exist in fantasy condo land as well.

My lap top died. RIP lap top September 23, 2009

I read a great book. Don Miller wrote it. It is his latest. I reccommend it to children and adults of all ages. Really love you Don.

Being away from my home of 20 years is tough. So what do I do about it? Go home any time I feel like it sacraficing what little money I have to the gas witches.

Over fall break as I was catfishing at Logo Noche alone, in the arctice esque temperatures I made a vow to A. blog more B. Do things with my life in which to blog about. C. Drive around less. D. sell lots of tees to the Tn tech community.

For the record, I caught a pretty dang good sized cat while I was making all those vows and stuff.

Hope all is well with all of you. If you ever think about hanging out with me lets make that thought a reality. I am willing to drive. In the mean time keep livin laughin and love, also catfishin.

Ross Hoss

I’m almost so lonesome I could maybe cry.

Second day of being sick. Honestly, my body feels pretty good with the exception of my throat. I talk funny, kind of like a shy lady robot. If you are interested in how that sounds just call me, and it will all be made very clear to you.

The only living creature who has slept more than me these last two days is my little friend Albert. I claim this as fact. I have slept A LOT. Albert is my new kitten who my family rescued from the baseball field. Anyway, we spend a lot of time together with our eyes closed. However, our relationship, these past two days, has really grown into something beautiful. Or so I had thought….

I’m afraid Albert is getting a little too clingy. He is everywhere, always meowing and purring. I never have a second alone anymore. Just moments ago he walked onto my keyboard and typed the word “shkei.” What does that even mean? The language barrier is killing us!

My mom says that it is just love and thats how love works. I told her that I thought she was overthinking the whole situation, and then reminded her we were talking about a kitten.

This is a picture of Albert. He told me, in a variation of paw gestures, that if my throat had to hurt then he wanted his to hurt too then.

New in Town.

I am sitting up on one of two love seats that reside in our living room, den, type room thing. My legs are propped up on one end while my upper body is propped up on the other. My lovely mother thought it would be a good idea to get rid of our couch (that was the perfect size for my 6′2” frame) and replace it with the second love seat. I now don’t even bother getting out of bed to come downstairs to watch tv. I just watch the tiny one in my room, legs fully extended.

But whatever! There are more pressing matters at hand. I am sick. My throat hurts. Does your throat hurt? Sorry if it does. I take full responsibility. I have great doctors. I saw Dr. Anderson today and if the perfect American man exist it is Dr. Anderson.

Also, have you ever seen the movie New in Town? I sort of kind of recommend it.

Announcement: I will not be attending Belmont or Lipscomb this semester. I will be attending Tennessee Tech. Yeah, it is my third college in three years. But what can I do? I’m just trying to find my place in the world.

I plan on blogging about my Tn Tech adventures. I think I will use the blog as incentive to get out and get some stories to right about on here. For now, the story of my life is throat spray and doctor offices.

Ross the my throat hurts Hoss.

All I Want In Life.

I was thinking last night in Church about what I hope to gain in life. Stuff that I would just really enjoy having. My happiness would of course not be defined by these things, but I sure would like them.

1. A small house.

2. A large dining room table for my kids and I to eat. Oh, and my wife.

3. I large enough back yard where if I so desired, I could shoot a shotgun, while sitting in a rocking chair, on my back porch.

4. Rusty my dog. And lots of other little animals to talk to when I get home after a late night.

5. Orange slushies from BK.

6. My friends… Aw….

7. A really nice grill.

8. Somebody really nice to grill for me.

9. X Box Live.

10. Good abs.

11. A cool tv.

12. A pain free lower back.

13. An autographed Ashton Kutcher poster. Wait, What?

14. A sewn, cotton, Tn state flag.

15. My pride.

16. I want to keep my small truck forever.

17. A big ol bed.

18. A job where I felt like when I left each day, I had left the world a better place.

19. A FISHING BOAT!

20.  (insert lots of little happiness things here)

What makes you happy? What would make you happy? Why don’t you have it already? Is it obtainable? Am I getting corny in my post flag world state?

Ross Flag Selling the big boy Hoss

So Long Sweet Flag World…

As I begin this blog I have roughly three more hours and twenty four minutes left until I am no longer a regular Flag World employee. Many do not know, but it is in this very World that I decided to start the RossHoss Blog. After about two years and 14,542 views later, I am finally wrapping up the Flag World Era of my life.

I work at an ironing board (pictured below). And let me tell you what this ironing board would say if it was able to relay memories of my time here to the blogoshere world.

Ironing Board: “I remember that time Ross dropped and did ten pushups in the floor after looking at all those bodybuilding posters.”

“I remember the time Ross got the scary homeless man arrested for frightening him into giving him 20 dollars.”

“I remember the time, well, all of the many times, Ross watched girlie tv shows such as the Bachelorette.”

“I remember the time that Ross drank a Mountain Dew then felt bad for being unhealthy, so did sit up sin the middle of the floor (all of this of course after looking at body building posters).”

“I remember when Ross was invited to go Salsa dancing with some girls and politely declined. Stating that he had already made dance plans with other girls.”

“I remember how hard Ross would laugh every time he gave back two cents of change and said well for what its worth, here is my two cents.”

“I remember that time a large man used the “F word” and Ross gave him fifteen percent off his flag purchase, well, because he was scared.”

“I remember when Ross hid underneath me and cried a little after the large drunk man body slammed the little Mexican man right outside our door.”

“I remember when Ross tried on all the hats and bandanas. He is so funny.”

I remember all the Cracker Jacks he got all over me.”

“I remember the time he started a blog.”

“I remember when Solomon told Ross he should really consider buying girls a pizza in order to get them to like him.”

“I remember the celebration in which Ross was presented with his “Number 1 Flag Salesmen Award.”

“I remember how much he loved the people. Not only the customers but also those who worked around him. Ross will be missed.”

-Ross the number one flag selling Hoss.

You are where you are supposed to be.

After much debate with myself I finally decided it was time to change the format of the Blog that Ross Hoss built. I am now experimenting with a more sophisticated, classier look. Let me know what you think….

Brief, so very brief, segment about my chosen profile picture:

Yours truly, Ross Hoss is wearing the #37 jersey. I am certain that at this point I had a cheek full of Ranch sunflower seeds and a pocket full of free Oatmeal Creme Pies. The greatest thing Belmont Baseball ever did for me was give me free Oatmeal Creme Pies. To my throwing/moneymaking side of my body sits my brother adorning the #28 jersey. Not much needs to be said about him. To his weaker than my throwing arm side sits his long time pal Eric Diaz. Eric is a nice boy, who pulls off the karate kid bandana look better than anybody else I know.

This is my second post today. I hope that nobody is so overwhelmed with useless information that they decide to retire from my blog forever.

From a hidden location I have begun to chronicle all of my college adventures. One day, when I am confident people will laugh and enjoy these tails, I will post the link. However, for now, it is just a little secret.

Inspired by my friend Raleigh’s blog http://raleightatum.wordpress.com/ I have decided to also make a list of my all time favorite athletes. Similar to the Ryan Klesko Hall of Fame I will now begin forming the Fred Mcgriff Hall of Fame. I will include, along with my other worldly thoughts, one inductee per post from now until I run out of favorite athletes.

And the first inductee into the Fred Mcgriff Hall of Fame is…….. Well, Fred Mcgriff of course.

Frederick Stanley Mcgriff, also known as the “Crime Dog” easily takes the cake as my all time favorite athlete (sorry Bruce Mathews). I grew up, following my brother around the back yard, and the Braves. Now understand, that I did not have the luxury of cable while growing up, so I would have to get my Sportscenter fix down the town at my Grandmother’s house. Now also understand, I was a whopping negative eight years old when the Crime Dog was drafted to the Yankees in the ninth round. I was negative three years old when Fred made his major league debut. I was five years old when I watched Fred place second in the 1994 All Star game. Falling only to one of the greatest hitters of all time, Ken Griffey JR. So maybe I was drawn to the wisdom that had grown in the mustache of this lefty slugger by the time had come around. Who knows.

Probably the highlight of my life and Fred’s career was when he knocked two dingers in the 95 World Series as he brought the trophy home to his homies in Atlanta. This most definitely deserves its own line.

However great his numbers might be, I still watch sports with a keen eye for character. Fred has, and always will have character. I am a sucker for an athlete with good character.

His promoting of the Tom Emanski hitting videos has placed him in baseball telemarketing history. The Emanski comercials can still be seen on tv today, making it one of the longest running commercials of all time.

I have, and will until the end of the time place my hat so high on my head that the small gust of wind created by a passing batboy will be able to knock it off. I will forever dream of being a powerful black man with a mustache, hitting bombs from the left side while scooping up anything thrown in my direction at first base. I will choose to be number 27 even when being number 27 is not an option. I will continue to display all of Fred’s baseball cards ever created from the plastic case hanging on my bedroom wall. I will forever mourn the tearing of my Fred poster. The poster I stumbled upon in some costume store while shopping with my mother, which depicted Fred during his glorious days as a Blue Jay, and was for the longest time my most prized possession.

Not all of my inductees speeches will be as long as Frederick Stanley Mcgriff’s speech. I hope you enjoy this segment. Maybe one day I will write with good punctuation, rough drafts, and correctly placed hyphens. To become a good writer is my summer goal. This is too long. Goooood Daaaay!

Ross the TN Tornado Hoss

I am drinking my morning coffee while sitting at my computer. Watch out Donald Miller and Raleigh Mccool!

I woke up this morning and popped about 1231323 Tylenol looking to relieve my back pain. As I cringed while bending over to get my mug out of the dish washer I thought, I will write a blog today. Here is a blog that will give you an inside look as to what goes on in my mind, while I work out.

[I arrive]

Wow, my back hurts just by looking at that squat rack.

I wonder how old that pretty lady is over on the lat pulldown

Should i keep my sweats on… well my legs sure are tan. Ill take them off.

Ill start with biceps. Nooooooo. I’ll start with chest. ok lets go.

[as i flex my pecks] I guess I’ll go with the dumb bell bench presses.

breathe 1… breath 2… breath 3… etc.

Is that a zit?

wow my beard is coming in.

is that girl looking at me.

she looked away lets take care of my face flaws real fast

Wow that guy has great arms.

has it been a minute?

breath…1 breath….2 breath…3 etc

Im all worked out already.

ill work in some abs.

is she looking at me?

maybe she is looking at me because I keep looking at her…

oh great a text message. wonder who its from…

i have got to take less time in between sets.

jump rope jump rope

does that guy really have that big of a chest.

This is just a small insert from what goes on in my mind during a solid work out. Needless to say I am not necessarily one to stay focused. If I tried too hard to stay focused I would reach my focus capacity in no time then have to go home.

My coffee is cold, so I guess this blog is over.

Do not forget to look out for possible influences today!

Ross under the influenced Hoss

Magic Johnson

I got lots of respect for anyone with the first name of Magic.

Why does the word “you” have a “y” and an “o” added on it? Who came up with that? Who really comes up with anything?

This is what I love. The fact that my home computer (which I am using right now. My laptop is taking a break from working) has all of my childhood music on its itunes. Right now I am rocking out to my childhood friend Garret Dickerson’s c.d. Adolescent Joyride!

This is also the third installment of my influences blogoseries! I thought about who I should make this one about, and my mind was flooded with people in my life who I see nearly every week.

So this is a blog dedicated to all you people out there who have influenced me and who continue to influence me in a positive manner. I will not name any names…. but if you have never tried to get me to partake in something condemned by the  New Testament then this is for you!

I was talking to someone a few years ago about how God will put people in life for a reason. Well, I think God has more than once thrown some personalities at me in order to make me better, or in order to allow me to learn a valuable lesson. Sitting there at your Dell, or Macintosh, think about these folks in your own life. Appreciate them. I appreciate you for reading this blog.

What do I love most about summer? The tan I get on my forearms.

Also my friend Siobhan who writes awesome poems may stop in to write a poem one day soon. So get excited about that. Also, if you dig what I am doing on here give me some feedback. Spread the RossHoss word.

It is real late and my thoughts are real scattered. I need to start working out again tomorrow. So I hope I run into you at the Y.

I tried to put my bookshelves together tonight because my Dad needs his clothes hamper back. It went terribly south terribly fast. I am usually pretty handy but not tonight!

-Ross the influenced Hoss

Larry Byrd.

I set my alarm for 9:30 this morning. I should have known better. It is now 11:13 and still, I have yet to wattle down stairs to put my pop tarts into the toaster oven. What is wrong with me? I used to be such an early riser.

Tonight Mike and I will once again grab our poles, sprinkle garlic over some chicken gizzard, do our team stretches, and head down to some body of water somewhere. Our goal is to of course bring home the catfish motherload. Today is the day of our big break. I can feel it!

Now for my second influence that everyone is so anxiously awaiting. He is my brother and my friend. Josh Moffitt.

Okay on a more serious note. The second influence came into my life in a very interesting way. I had a school project to do on raising the awareness of the Nashville homeless problem. So I strapped on my Doc Martins and my faithful yellow Goodpasture stocking cap and headed downtown. My hopes was to find a homeless man who wanted to work but for whatever reason was unable to. God saw me workin’ downtown that night and allowed my path to cross with the path of a homeless man by the name of Terry.

After using the FF button on the remote I am moving on to how I was influenced by him. I saw Terry probably five more times after that night. He had himself a case worker and was genuinely trying to get off the streets. His problem however was that he was an alcoholic. Now I had seen people drinking a few beers down the street at the local party house, but never had I seen a true alcoholic who was unable to function in society.It was definitely an eye opening experience.

Josh and I happened to run into him one night and he was broke, cold, and well thirsty. He was supposed to meet with his case worker in the morning about a job so he was trying to stay sober. He asked us to sit with him. In the span of about one hour Terry was on the ground shaking and almost crying because he was unable to put alcohol in his system.

I always knew alcohol was bad but at this point in time I saw where it could be truly evil. Eventually we had to leave Terry because he insisted on being alone. We called his case worker and apparently he never showed. I don’ know where Terry is today, but I know I will never forget him. He showed me how blessed I truly was. How blessed I truly am.

Ross Hoss the Blessed Boss