1.2.3. go.

Turn my mike up louder I got to say somethin’. lightweights step to the side ’cause we comin’. (fifty cents to anyone who can tell me who sings/raps those lyrics)

Interesting things have been happening to me lately and one of those things is I have been experiencing a lot of crazy hand shakes lately. So here in the next few moments together we are going to analyze the handshake. Here is a list of different shakes you may encounter along life’s journey.

1. Basic- Two hands clasp in basic hand shaking form. Two shakes occur and then both hands retreat. They get the heck out of there. This is by far the most common type of hand shake. I appreciate it the most. Probably because there is actual shaking taking place and not just lots of pounding and interlocking and stuff.

2. Knucks- This style falls second only to the basic shake. Mostly done between dudes it is when two people make their hands into a fist and then bump knuckles. It is simple, easy, and also sanitary. Sometimes boys will do this to girls because they think it is funny. Research has yet to show if girls really think this is as funny as boys do. I am going to say probably they don’t.

3. Full out pound-a.k.a. giving out dat- This is when two fist knock each other first on the top and then come up for a second knock in the opposite direction of the first knock. After all this knocking the fist are brought together and then the knucks style is properly executed. That is the most simple form of the full out pound. From this simple hand greeting hundreds, if not thousands of other shakes can be performed. You can blow it up, make your fingers fly away together like a butterfly, fake smoking a cig, go into form # one, and the list goes on and on.

4. The three stepper- I absolutely despise the three stepper. It is sneaky and ruthless. It sneaks up on you like a rattler in the creek bed. It can leave a boy feeling awkward and worthless. Let me explain… The three stepper is when one of the two shakers decides to take the shake beyond basic form. This person will force the hand of the other shaker into performing some sort of ghetto hand grasp and then moves straight into the locking of the tips of the fingers. Mostly seen in the hood it can also be found at rural ymca’s, church camp, and Biology class. I strongly urge the world to stay away from the three stepper. Stand up, take charge, and the next time someone takes basic form two steps to far let ’em know about it. Let us all put an end to this madness.

Ross Hoss

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “1.2.3. go.

  1. jake

    Ross, I was laughing so hard on “the three stepper.” This was quite an accurate observation of the handshake.

  2. Marcel P.

    I just did a post like this a few weeks ago. Its good to see you still blogging away. Good luck and we need to catch up sometime

  3. R Wilson

    Linkin Park….Hands Held High…
    as for the 50 cents…u can buy a random person a coke : )

  4. Schmoffly

    I am going to have to say… Linkin Park “Hands Held High.” You can pay me next time I see you (which might be this weekend?)

  5. Kelly

    Oh, this makes me laugh. I adore you and your blogging.

  6. as a 3 stepper, im sorry if my handshakes have ever made u feel akward

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