This is my 101st post. Please take note.
Tis the season for ridiculousness. Here I am the day after Christmas sitting behind my beloved ironing board and I am totally ok with it. Why do you ask? Because Christmas is over and I left all of my Holiday Spirit back at yesterday and now I am moving on. There are bills to pay and chicken chipotle sandwiches to be bought. Here are the top reasons why I think Christmas is silly…
1. Tis the season to buy the same priced gift for someone and then swap. I buy neighbor John a ten dollar hand saw. Neighbor John buys me a ten dollar football. Why in the North Pole would we not just keep our ten dollars? The hand saw that I gave my neighbor does not exactly say I love you and you mean a lot to me. Maybe we should all devote ourselves to giving gifts of meaning to one another next year. Like a poem.
2. Tis the season to spend more time decorating then actually enjoying on the actual day. Some people spend hours upon hours setting up decorations for the big day. Lights of all different colors are strewn all over the outside and inside of houses. But here we are December 26th and there is a lot of cleaning up to do.
3. What’s a Christmas tree? Who in history decided that in order to properly celebrate Christmas, without truly risking your salvation, you would need to purchase a tree to put up inside of your house. Not only do you put this tree up but then decorate it with lights and these things called ornaments. But Ross, where do we put all the presents from Santa? I think you should put the presents around a nice nativity scene.
4. Tis the season for traffic. I think we have all been there. We need to go to a place as simple as the grocery store and it takes us an hour and a half to get down Hillsboro road. People flock to the mall days before the big day in order to do their last minute shopping. Here is the kicker though, all the people in the mall are buying gifts for other people in the mall so why not everybody just not go to the mall? It would all be the same… You would save a buck, as would your the guy in front of you in line at Banana Republic.
There are of course reasons why I find Christmas to be one of the greatest times of the year as well. I love the fact that everybody spends time with their families. I love the taste of eggnog. I love a good Christmas sweater party. I love love being on break from school. I love Santa Claus. I love wearing my robe and not showering in the mornings. I love watching Its a Wonderful Life, I love Home Alone, I love you, I love Rusty, and I really love candy canes.
Ross the Hoss