Chronicles of Ross

Happy Groundhogs Day Eve!

As I sit here conversing with a fellow, who has what I estimate to be twelve holes in his greasy Dukes of Hazzard shirt, I got to thinking. Thinking about all the interesting people I have encountered during my life. Not necessarily in Flag World, but in all my walks of life. Here is a list of the top ten(ish) most interesting people I have ever met.

1. Jerry- Jerry is my homeless friend who often drops by Flag World to see me. He has a wife, who also lives on the streets, and a brain filled with the corniest jokes I have ever heard. He told me that he had kidney failure and slipped into a coma about a year ago. When he woke up all of his stuff was gone. Never have I ever seen Jerry without a dip in his mouth. He says he has been swallowing the dip spit ever since he became homeless. I am concerned about his health…

2. The guy who had drove all the way to Nashville from Texas in order to meet a girl he met on the internet. The girl claimed to be sick so they never got to meet. So…. what do you do after making a nine hour trip and getting stood up by a internet wonder woman? Come to Flag World and buy a polyester Confederate Flag of course. He also said He drove to California once for a Internet lady. Man, bless his heart.

3. Erin Andrews- So pretty.

4. Solomon- He works the lot beside Flag World and falls somewhere between numbers 1-6 of my favorite people. I don’t know much about him except that he likes pizza. We talk all the time though. I think he is Egyptian.

5. My mother. She is umm interesting. (Mom, don’t comment on this post at all).

6. Sam- The guy who beat up another guy right in front of my eyes, almost destroying all of my patch display cases. He was big, scary, and claimed to have been in two wars. I would like to have breakfast with him. Possibly the only meal he is sober for…

7. Mr. Church- He bought my s10 Blazer from me towards the end of last summer. I showed him the truck with my shirt off and he still bought it. To this very second I believe Jesus guided that man’s life %100. It is a pretty wild story involving mufflers, forties, drugs, and cash. Ask me and I’ll fill you in with some more details.

8. This African American man who I worked for- I mowed his yard for an entire summer. A man from African descent living in Joelton is interesting enough, right? Although I can’t remember his name he is one of the nicest people I have ever met. Due to my “hard work” he gave me a five dollar raise! He also lectured me on college, careers, and my education. He was interesting no doubt.

9. Coach Hamlett- My Latin teacher in high school. Anybody who knows him knows exactly why he made my list. It is hard to explain but I felt no choice but to include him. p.s. He called me “Rockin’ Ross” sometimes “Rockin Raleigh” when he was confused. whatever.

10. Anne- I painted a deck for Anne last school year. Boy was she a character. She offered me a job “mannying” aka nannying her kids last summer for four hundred dollars a week. Once upon a time she asked me if she was showing to much cleavage before a big date. I was so uncomfortable. I loved her kids though. Also, seriously, if you need a deck painted or anything along those lines I will do it for you. Ask Anne, I do excellent work.


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2 responses to “Chronicles of Ross

  1. schmoffly

    You should have took the mannying job…

  2. what about the guy who was workin three jobs to buy a dodge challenger??

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