BREAKING NEWS

Information from an inside source has leaked! You can only find the whole story hear at Ross Hoss Blog Press Page! Here is the breaking news story that will be undoubtedly sweeping the  country in a matter of seconds after this post….

I recieved this recorded conversation from a friend who works as a bartender in the Bahamas. I am extremely grateful to him for his hard work and dedication in always providing Ross Hoss with ground breaking news hours before anyone else. Here is the conversation that took place exactly three days ago in a bar in the Bahamas between Major Leaugue Baseball superstars Barry Bonds, Alex Rodriguez, and Mark Mcgwire.

Barry: Well Boyz, ain’t it great just layin’ out her soakin’ up some rays?

Alex: It doesn’t get much better Barry. Deep sea fishing on my brand new yacht. I could do this forever.

Mark: Guys I just got a new weightroom in my nine hundred thousand square foot beach house. Want to come work out with me tonight?! Maybe mix a little fruit punch flavored Creatine into our work out shakes?

Barry: Naw Mark, dog, I’m retired… I just wanna lay her enjoyin’ these fine ladies.

Alex: I cheated on my wife with Madonna. It was AWESOME. My wife was pissed but I just bought her a new Farrari. No big deal. Totally worth it.

Mark: Alex, come work out with me. I am developing serious man boobs. It’s killin’ my appearance in court.

Barry: Man, I can’t wait to go yacht shoppin’. I just have so much money. I think I will buy a new motorcycle tonight.

Alex. That sounds good. Count me in.

Mark: My neck is so flabby. Know any good neck exercises Barry?

Barry: I will hire the sexiest women in the world to dance on my new boat. I can do that ya know?

Alex: You are livin’ quite the life here Barry. I can’t wait to retire. I’ll finally have time to spend my millions. I might buy one of these islands.That would be so neat.

Mark: Neck excercises? Seriously. Anybody? I’ll give you free Creatine for helping me.

Alex: I need more than Creatine to keep up with my lady (Madonna).

Barry: Ya know. Its hard for a brother to tan.

Alex: Luckily, I have a beatiful complexion. At least thats what Madonna says. Oh and the million of other girls who want to have little Alexes with me.

Barry: I heard that. So many dime pieces want to git wit me. Man, its crazy.

Mark: I am down three hundred pounds in my squats since I retired. Any reason why that would be?

Barry: Probably cause you took roids brother.

Mark: Whoa, what if the bartender is listening. Be careful Barry!

Alex: I will pay him off. Its ok

Barry: I’ll let him do my laundry. Thats about all he is good for.

Alex: Lets go pay women to kiss us.

Barry: I got three mil in my wallet right now. I’m down.

Mark: You know guys I probably shouldn’t.I really need to do some forearm curls. My arms are so dinky.

Alex: I have never been so happy and more at peace in my life

Barry: Life is guud Alex. We got loads of cash and loads of women. I am so full of joy.

Mark: I’m thinking about starting my own line of Creatine products.

Barry: I’m thinking about decreasing the amount of money I pay the people who cook for me.

Alex: Well guys. I’m going to go text the hottest girls on the planet. peace.

So it seems that the three biggest sluggers of our time are not on suicide watch due to the fact that their legacies have been completely ruined, but they are on babe watch instead. They seem perfectly content spending their millions. Later on Barry made an asterick joke to Alex because of the fact he was racing go-karts drunk, and beat both him and Mark.

Interesting times. Interesting times….

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “BREAKING NEWS

  1. schmoffly

    So when Barry said “Life is guud” what exactly did he mean? Was he saying “gud” and just held the ‘u’ a fraction of a second longer than usual?

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